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39 Ways That I Love You (from Lemony Snicket's "The Beatrice Letters")

8/21/2012

16 Comments

 
“I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of a vulture. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

“I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this.

“I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world.
 
“I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
 
“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece
of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” 
 
“Life will never end when you are in it.” 
 



 


16 Comments
Jeff
6/15/2013 12:32:10 am

I have never read before a piece of such beautiful wording that is so pertinent and meaningful to me after lately having lost the greatest love ever in my life Annie Huet Gould to the heart breaking early stages of dimentia. She does now, after 19 years of us never apart sometimes forgets my name but, as soon as she sets eyes on me, she points to the gold rings on our fingers and her face lights up like a beacon.

Reply
Lori L Madden
6/15/2013 06:34:08 am

Jeff, I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you. You are blessed to have had that kind of love as long as you have. And Annie is blessed to have been loved the way that you obviously love her. Few experience that, and even fewer experience it for longer than only a fleeting moment. Thank you for your comment.

Reply
Jeff
6/18/2013 02:17:03 pm

Thank you Lori for your most pleasing and sensitive reply. It gave me the strength to carry on somewhat with my every-day life. I would like you to know my special Annie was the live-in French Nannie to The Royal Princes William's and Harry's mother Princess Dianna when Dianna she was just a small child. Annie had the honor of sitting at the table with the family at mealtimes. Not many people know this. I have had contact from time to time with the Princes William and Harry and they send Annie and myself Royal Mail letters on Annie's birthday and we also get well wishing letters that I have framed. I am not able to give them to Annie as the last time I did they were stolen from the walls of of a nursing where she previously resided. With fore-thought, they were copies. I have the originals. Annie was a very attractive young woman and to this day, for me, she still is so sweet and beautiful. As you can deduct, I am very proud and protective of my darling. I don't know where you are but I would gladly, if you request, send by email to a person such as you a few then-and-now photos of my dear one.

Reply
Lori L Madden
8/22/2013 03:09:03 pm

Hi Jeff, if you're still out there, I'd love to hear more about your wife if you'd care to share with me.

Reply
Jeffrey Gould link
10/1/2013 07:56:21 pm

Dear Lori same as (Story), Madden. I,m so sorry for taking such a long time to answer you after such a long time. If you still are there please let me know and, and as you asked I will try to fill you in about what has eventuated with Annie and me. And about her so busy past life. I joined several carers and discussion groups to learn and care as much as possible about Annie's disposition. I think it has saved me too. As some-one has written somewhere on this website. If my love lives to one hundred and ten, then I wish to live to one hundred and nine so she will not be lost to me during my life.


Jeffrey Gould link
10/1/2013 07:56:36 pm

Dear Lori same as (Story), Madden. I,m so sorry for taking such a long time to answer you after such a long time. If you still are there please let me know and, and as you asked I will try to fill you in about what has eventuated with Annie and me. And about her so busy past life. I joined several carers and discussion groups to learn and care as much as possible about Annie's disposition. I think it has saved me too. As some-one has written somewhere on this website. If my love lives to one hundred and ten, then I wish to live to one hundred and nine so she will not be lost to me during my life.


Jeff
5/31/2014 07:51:12 pm

A year past, Are you still there Lori. I discovered a strange coincidence in the THE 39 WAYS that I'd not noticed when I read it the first time. It's in the third last sentence about Tuesdays

Lori
6/1/2014 11:27:38 pm

Hi Jeff, I'm still around! I've just let life get in the way of keeping up with my blog here. What is the coincidence that you discovered?

Reply
Jeffrey Gould
6/2/2014 08:13:50 pm

Strangely touching to me and coincidental statement in the third last sentence in The 39 WAYS! --
"I will love you if I see you every Tuesday."
Unknowingly of the above,since my dear Annie went into a nursing home I have never missed visiting her on and every Tuesday!!!. Often on Thursdays too. She's always so happy to see me but lately, most times she knows not my name anymore.

Reply
Lori
7/16/2017 11:47:55 am

I'm so sorry to hear that! She is lucky to have someone like you by her side.

Reply
Joel Marriott
1/14/2017 05:01:07 pm

I have just read all of the past comments and it broke my heart! Jeff you are one of the few gentlemen left and I respect you greatly for sharing what must be tremendously difficult for you.

Reply
jeff gould
7/14/2017 08:01:38 pm

The 39 ways is one of my greatest pleasures in my life. I would like a friend of mine to read it but, I don't know how to send it to her by internet? Could you please show me how?

Reply
Lori
7/16/2017 11:46:50 am

Do you know her e-mail address? You could copy and paste it into an e-mail and send it to her.

Reply
Anna
7/16/2017 06:21:44 pm

Hi Jeff and Lori,

I frequently reference this blog for my favorite clips of these letters and have followed this comment dialogue throughout. It has both warmed and broken my heart so many times that I can't possibly show the amount of gratitude due. However, Jeff, I work for a publishing company, and these letters are in a book that I would love to send you. If you'd like, send me an address and I'll have it shipped as soon as I can.

Warm wishes to you,

Anna

Reply
Lori
7/16/2017 07:10:32 pm

Anna, what a kind gesture! I hope Jeff responds and is able to get the book. Thank you!

Jeff Gould
7/16/2017 09:12:46 pm

Thanks Anna. It would be so much much appreciated to receive to receive the book. My address is;
21/9 Elm Road.
Glen Iris;
Vic. 3146
Australia




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    My name is Lori. It rhymes with Story. How lucky is that... But seriously, this blog is probably not read by anyone, and I use it mainly as a place to post things that come to my mind, or things that amaze me in some way, or pictures of things that I come across in my few travels to here and there. Plus, I do post book reviews here because it's required in order for me to remain in the book review bloggers program. Other than that, I can't imagine there would be anyone actually interested in what I have to say or share, but it's here should that ever happen! 

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